Getting Your Feeling Hurt!

Lupine beauty
Lupine beauty

Why do so many people get offended by things that do not or should not matter to them? Why do these same people think that they have a duty or a right to let the world know that they think they have been offended by something that actually makes no difference to their quality of life? Here is an example, “Washington Redskins!” Now let’s be honest, why would anyone think that the name of a sports team would affect  their’s or someone’s elses quality of life? Really now, just because someone decides to call their team a word that has been around long before the sport was invented and for 50+ years no one noticed it was a problem. Give me a break, politically correct? Demanding someone to be “politically correct” is nothing more than someone else, who thinks they have a right to, or they so much smarter that you, attempting to control how you should think, feel, or believe. 

Gunnison River
Gunnison River

When God created man, he gave man the ability to think and self determine their path during their time on earth. Oops, I guess I just offended those that do not believe that there is a God, much less that he created man, or for the sake of those that believe man evolved from a fish or whatever bacteria that came from an asteroid, the result is the same, we are here and we have the to ability to self-determine. But you see, God’s creation is what I think and not what I expect you to think. I believe that there is not one single person on this earth that has a right to prevent me from thinking, saying or feeling as I wish. The same as I believe there is not a single person or group that truly has a right to determine what others are allowed to think, say or feel. However, I do believe that we all have a moral and just requirement that should prevent us from saying something personally derogatory about someone else. Especially, when they say or do something that has no bearing on my quality of life.

Understand though, I do believe that I have a right to express my opinion about their beliefs, comments, or actions, in a public setting, that would tend to cause another person anguish. An example of this would be if you have a neighbor that has decides to plant some black roses around a tree in their front yard. Just because you don’t like black roses or you don’t like the clothes they wore while planting those roses, or any other reason, and before you get all offended and decide to cause that person and yourself torment, you should ask yourself: “What actual effect does this have on my quality of life, and does anything I might do or say have moral repercussions on my quality of life and/or self-respect or the respect of others.” Chances are, if you are being truly honest with your thoughts, you will  most likely come to the conclusion that there is no effect at all on your quality of life or anything else. So why would you want to inject grief, hate or just bad feelings toward that person who has done absolutely nothing that would cause grief, hate or bad feeling toward you? 

Peaceful place to ponder life issues.
Peaceful place to ponder life issues.

When you decide to be problematic toward some else, do you think that they will not have a feeling of needing revenge or directing the same actions toward you, simply because you consciously decided, through your comments or actions, to offend them. Sure, most people will have those feelings, but let’s go back to that moral or just requirement I spoke about earlier, and you will understand that you should never escalate to making derogative comments or unjustly confronting this neighbor about something that has no bearing on your quality of life. Therefore, the problems will never occur and your quality of life will remain unchanged. Now think about what I just said and understand that it is a very good likelihood that if you deliberately attempt to inflict unjustified pain and grief upon someone else, for something that has no effect on you or your quality of life, then others may well decide that you may have a serious gap in your goodness factor, not the person that planted the black roses.

If you, by your actions, become the person that is always finding fault or issues with what others are doing, saying, or expressing, then you are the one that is most likely perceived by others as the individual has the problems, and thus you are losing the respect of your fellow-man. You see, your actions may be what is actually changing your quality of life and the enjoyment of what little time you and others have in this life. Self-reflection! The old adage, do unto others as you would have them do unto you!  Seems to be quite appropriate at this point, don’t you think? Now here is something that I think go hand in hand with this train of thought. Each of us have been granted very little time in this life, so I ask, why would you want to spend any of that diminutive amount of time in anguish or causing someone else anguish? The worst part of this is, if you know fail to understand that your actions or comments may cause distress to someone you love or care about, then why would you even think that you are doing the right thing, much less the moral thing? If you can’t restrain yourself, then you may and most likely living within a selfish, ego filled state of mind.

Sadly most people  may not even understand that it is them and their actions that are really causing the problems. That’s right, it may just be your inability to see things objectively and without selfish thoughts that is causing yourself and others to waste precious moments of life dwelling on the simple failures or maybe the self-imposed problems of life. Self-reflection! Everyday we, as individuals, must reconsider our thoughts and goals to determine what is the direction we must take when we are confronted with an issue or just living our life. Stop and think, is there is a possibility that something you may say or do will cause someone, either you or them, a negative result, then don’t do what you were contemplating, or if need be, attempt solve the issue in way that takes selfishness out of the equation to  It’s that simple, and that easy to create within yourself a feeling of satisfaction and happiness by not causing grief for those around you and one day you might just realize that you have become a better person in your eyes as well as the eyes of others. Self-reflection! 

Now, back to the “redskins”, would forcing the owners and fans of the Redskins into changing their name make and positive change to your quality of life or would you be wasting precious moments of your life dwelling on an issue that has no true effect on you? Self-reflection! How about that cross that appeared out of the rubble of the World Trade Center bombings. What makes you believe that small symbol that caused so many to feel good is going to change your quality of life. Before you answer, make sure you are not talking through an ego, selfish filled state of mind. You see, most likely it is you that is causing undue anguish to others by doing something that will not make a difference in the few precious moments of life you are expending in order to prevent others happiness.

Self-reflection! Take a moment, and look around and try to find ways you can make a positive difference in the relationships you have with those around you. If you can’t see that there is something that could make your quality of life take a positive route then check your ego and selfishness because it most likely has a strong grip on your heart. Remember, Jesus was able to find a way to make other’s quality of life better even when his was being pushed well beyond reason. “Forgive them Father for they know not what they do!”  We all understand none of us are his equal, but it is his teachings and actions that we must attempt to replicate in our daily life. Take a moment and self reflect on where you really stand within his teachings (if you don’t believe, then use what your moral compass provides) and with your family, friends, and acquaintances. Wake up each day and strive harder than you did the previous day, to make your quality of life and the quality life of those around you reach a new high. Joe Covington, Citizens Reflections